Putting a Dialect into Dialogue

Sep 25, 2011 by Wayne Zurl

Writing dialogue with a dialect can generate controversy and debate and on occasion, even animosity among writers and readers.
I write about an ex-New York detective working as a police chief in rural east Tennessee. The accents he’s been exposed to are about as similar as a Venezuelan and a Glaswegian, both attempting to speak understandable English. Sorry Scotland.
I live in the same area where my protagonist works. Coincidently, I’m also an ex-New Yorker. And through nine novelettes and one full-length novel, I’ve written, using in varying degrees, east Tennessee accents.

To my ear, there are three distinct sounds to the accents here and I write them all. And occasionally, I have a New Yorker visit Chief Sam Jenkins and we hear them ask for a “cuppa kawfee”, say they will “open a windah” or cut the grass with a “mowah.” I do that so the residents of southern Appalachia can’t say I’m exclusively picking on them when I write the universal greeting of the Smoky Mountain region, “You doin’ aw rot t’day?” or any of the other appropriate colloquialisms I hear all the time. Honest folks, I don’t make this up. I only write what I hear—and I have always had a good ear for languages. That’s why I can speak English fairly well, am semi-fluent in two other languages, and can swear and order a beer in five more.

Okay, let’s look at what the experts say. In his book THE 38 MOST COMMON FICTION WRITING MISTAKES (And How to Avoid Them) Jack M. Bickham wrote a 2 ¼ page chapter called Don’t Mangle Characters’ Speech. Jack says NEVER deviate from the King’s English; it may tend to confuse a reader. Prior to his death, Bickham published about 75 novels and taught English at the University of Oklahoma.

Since I didn’t like Jack’s answer, I looked further. Everyone’s heard of Stephen King and may have read one or more of his sci-fi/horror novels. I think we’ll all agree Stephen has done well for himself in the author business. I’m not a fan of horror stories, so I don’t read his fiction, but I liked and recommend his book ON WRITING (A Memoir of the Craft). The first half tells the story of a young Stephen teaching high school English in Bangor, Maine, near poverty, and in danger of having his utilities turned off until he finally sold the famous CAREY. The second half is pure advice on how to write fiction King’s way.

Stephen’s take on writing dialect is: Write it the way you hear it. And he’s got a unique accent to duplicate in “Down East” Maine.
Steve, however, says: Don’t substitute apostrophes for the letters you leave out of the words. Example: writin’ rather than writing, should simply be writin, according to King.

So, I was looking at a stalemate, one for and one ag’in.
While working on my full-length novel, A NEW PROSPECT, I hired Bill Greenleaf, a retired editor, book doctor, and author of nine novels. Bill also said: Write it as you hear it; it’s more authentic when dealing with characters who speak in a unique accent. He further stated that new writers probably shouldn’t just omit letters without using the substitute apostrophe as suggested by King. That may only confuse editors, thinking you may be submitting a manuscript with typos. Sad but true—a guy like Stephen King can get away with much more than you or I.

A NEW PROSPECT was traditionally published and the publisher/editor accepted all the dialect without question. Since I’ve mentioned my book twice and at my age, I no longer have any modesty, I’ll mention it was named best mystery at the 2011 Indie Book Awards. So, I guess the dialect wasn’t too troubling to the three judges who read the proof copies.
Additionally, both the publisher and editor at Mind Wings Audio which has produced nine of my novelettes in audio book and simultaneously published them as eBooks have accepted them all written with oodles of Tennessee dialect. (A novelette is defined as something between 7,500 and 17,500 words.)

Some readers or reviewers of my works say, “I’m from the south and I don’t speak like that.” Understandable. Someone from Charleston, South Carolina sounds nothing like someone from Cocke County, Tennessee. Someone from Nashville in middle Tennessee doesn’t even sound like someone from the Smokies. To these people I say: If you’ve never been in my neck of the woods, don’t comment on how my neighbors speak. Not only can I speak with some authority on how a resident of east Tennessee speaks, I lived in New York for forty-six years and know first-hand someone from Brooklyn sounds nothing like a resident of Buffalo.

Recently a reviewer said: Writing in dialect never works. I’m suspicious of someone who uses absolutes like always or never. When I hear that, I tend to wonder where they derive their expertise on the subject upon which they commented. This reviewer claimed: It would be enough to state that the character spoke with a heavy accent. Isn’t that telling and not showing? George Peleconos has written a successful (It seems to have worked for him) series of novels featuring black private detective, Derek Strange, working in Washington DC. Peleconos extensively writes dialogue in Ebonics. It only makes sense. Jive-ass, hip-hop, gangsta-rapping drug dealers do not speak like little old men from Cedar Rapids, Iowa. In my opinion, it would not sound authentic and detract from the story if no dialect was used.

Some readers have told me: Reading dialects makes me slow down. So what? What’s the hurry? Do you want to absorb and understand a novel or just knock out another book and add one more to your “I’ve read” list? Sometimes, I think professional readers (self-styled, unpaid reviewers) cruise through books so fast they really can’t write an intelligent review. Another opinion: Everyone should savor a good book. Slow down and smell the printer’s ink.

THE END